50 Shades of Luvmybox

Calling all Couples! 
This is not for the faint of heart, or those that are uncomfortable with sex. Yes, I said it on my blog folks. It's a three letter word that, in my honest opinion, is imperative for a flourishing relationship.

It's the month of Love and the answer to spicing things up in the bodoir comes beautifully packaged and right to your front door... every month!

As a happily married woman, I think it's very important to keep things "healthy" and happy in your relationship.
After having kids, I fully understand how much more difficult that can be with lack of sleep, the sound of crying and or "Mommy, I'm hungry." "Daddy, I'm bored!" Mommy, I had another nightmare, can I sleep in your room tonight?" (again).
*sigh*

The constant demands of your time and attention has been overtaken by the little people in your home, the deadlines of your job and the day-to-day grind that we tend to forget about the needs of our spouse/partner. This can be very malignant in your marriage/relationship.

I came across an awesome monthly service subscription called Luvmybox which offers flirty and fun items to help bring back the romance in your relationship and remedy your routine by adding a little spice!

For only $34.95 a month (that includes free S&H), you and your partner will receive a surprise themed box full of sexy-time surprises in discreet packaging.

So if your child is as nosy as mine is and expects every package delivered to be hers or God forbid it gets delivered to your neighbors by accident or maybe your mother-in-law is staying the week and decides to take your package inside for you (yikes!), you won't have to worry about anyone knowing what's inside unless they rip it open.

I received a box to see for myself and here's what I got inside.

First off, I really loved the packaging. It was pretty and felt like I was opening a special gift.

Inside was a note letting you know about everything you received inside the box and included: O'My Strawberry Cheesecake Flavoured Lubricant ($12.95), Jimmy Jane Afterglow Natural Massage Candle ($28.95), Massager ($5.00), Masque Orally Dissolvable Gel Strips (3 strip pack $9.95).

You can see more examples of past boxes here.

Everything was done tastefully considering it's contents.
I really liked everything that was included in the package (no pun intended), especially the Jimmy Jane Afterglow Natural Massage Candle. The scent is Dark Vanilla and it burns for 32 hours too! Smells amazing!

I challenge all you lovebirds to go explore a little more and start building that intimacy!
Make 2013 the year that you rediscover each other once again.

To learn more about Luvmybox, visit them at: www.luvmybox.com or on Facebook for updates.

Happy Valentine's Day!

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Titanic Love Stories

We all know this story.
Well, based on the epic 1997 romantic disaster film written & directed by James Cameron featuring swoon-worthy Leonardio Dicaprio (I probably fell madly in love with him during this film)  and up & coming British beauty, Kate Winslet.
Classic tale of two young lovers with a blossoming and passionate secret love affair, families of different class on board the Titanic Ship on their way to the the Concrete Jungle & Land of Opportunity, New York City.
Add the powerful and melodramatic soundtrack and you've got a heart-wrenching tear-fest like no other.

We all have pieces of stories that shake us to the core and pull at our heart strings because we can connect to it.  We think of our own love and relationships.

Even in horrific events such as the Titanic disaster, which occurred 100 years ago on April 15, 1912, amazing stories emerge. Stories of heroics, stories of survival, and even stories of love. There were over a dozen newly married couples on board the grand ship, and many more couples who were impacted by the tragedy. Among those are these touching stories of love.

John and Nelle Snyder, first-class passengers, were saved in Lifeboat 7. It is said that when the first lifeboats were being loaded one of the members called for the “new grooms and brides” to board first. The Snyders didn't hesitate. They were some of the first people in the lifeboats because so many passengers were afraid to leave the “big boat.”

Then there is the story of third-class passenger Sarah Roth. Sarah was a 26-year-old tailor from London going to New York to be married to her fiancé, Daniel M. Iles. She was probably the happiest passenger on board when Titanic steamed out of Southampton as she dreamed about marrying the man she loved in the dress she'd so lovingly made. When the ship sank her gown and all of her possessions were lost with it, but Sarah survived. She was married in a dress given to her by the Woman's Relief Committee just eight days after the ship sank.

Edward and Ethel Beane were second-class passengers. Edward lived in New York for several years while Ethel waited for him in England. When he returned they finally married. The newlyweds chose Titanic to carry them to their new life together. When the ship starting sinking Edward helped Ethel into Lifeboat 13.

Here is part of their story from an article in The New York Times printed on April 21, 1912:

Beane is a bricklayer, and Ethel, his wife, was maid in a Norwich household. Between them they had stored away $500, and sixty-five wedding presents were lost with the money. Beane stood back at the cry of, "No, only women!" when his bride was placed in one of the lifeboats. But as he stood back manfully he saw that boat pull off and it was only half filled. And he jumped into the sea and swam for that boat, and Ethel Beane's arms pulled him in.

I love their story.  Mr. Beane was one of the few people who survived after being in the water. It's amazing that the woman he loved pulled him from the freezing waters!
Now I bet, if you were like me during the Titanic film yelling & pondering "WHY? Why didn't Rose pull Jack onto the large door she was drifting on? It was able to fit two people!" This story would just solidify those questions once again. Of course, it would not make for a more intense and dramatic ending now would it? ;)

And while all these stories are wonderful, my favorite love story from the Titanic is that of Isidor and Ida Straus. They rose from poverty to fortune in one generation as the owners of Macy's Department Store in New York. As a couple they worked together. Ida supported Isidor in his roles as business man, congressman, and philanthropist, and Isidor supported Ida's efforts in their home and in her own philanthropic activities. Their story of partnership and love is inspiring, but nothing is as moving their deaths.

Married to her husband for 40 years, Ida had a chance to board a lifeboat, but she instead chose to die in the arms of her husband as the RMS Titanic sank. She's quoted as saying, “Where you go, I go.” Isidor tried to talk her into getting back into the boat, saying “The children, the children!” But her response was, “They will understand.” Isador's body was recovered, as was his wedding ring, but Ida's body was never found.

All of these heart-touching stories make me think of my dear husband, whom I love (even during the times he drives me up the wall). I'm thankful that we have today—this moment—together.

Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Tragedy may come at any time. That's why it's important to celebrate the love we have—to appreciate it and not take it for granted.
Think about these couples as you cuddle up to the one you love tonight, and be thankful that you still have life, and days, to live your love story.

Credits: Marriage Memo

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The Vow: Real Story is Better than the Film

Scene from The Vow with Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum

This Family Day weekend, my husband and I had the opportunity to watch the movie, The Vow, that's out in theaters right now.  If you didn't know this about me already, I am a hopeless romantic.
Call me old-fashioned, but I love sentimental and romantic things and I think a man should never give up trying to woo his wife/girlfriend.  It keeps the love alive and strong.

The movie was absolutely beautiful. Of course I cried in some parts, laughed in others, but most of all - I identified so well with many elements of the film.
Ty and I are not just husband and wife, but we are truly best friends.  They reminded me so much of our relationship -- the dates, the jokes, the tickles, the care-free attitudes, their support for one another and their friendship.

I came across this very timely message from Family Life's Marriage Memo, that I receive daily in my inbox with an article written by Dave Boehi. I knew I had to share.


In the film, a young married couple is involved in an automobile accident, and the wife, Paige (played by Rachel McAdams), loses five years of her memory. In her mind she’s a single law student in a close-knit family; she has no memory of how she became a sculptor, stopped communicating with her parents and sister, and then met and married Leo (Channing Tatum). The plot focuses on Paige’s attempts to rediscover herself and Leo’s efforts to keep their marriage intact.
It’s an interesting film, but it left me feeling it could have been much better. (Note to parents: It deserves its PG-13 rating for some language and sexuality.)  Descriptions of the movie led me to believe that the story was about a husband fighting heroically to save his marriage by dating his wife again and winning her back, but the plot fell short of that. 
The movie ends with tantalizing postscript: some photos of Kim and Krickitt Carpenter, the real-life couple whose story inspired the film. And when I looked further into the Carpenter’s story, it seemed much better than the film.
The Carpenters had been married only 10 weeks when their accident occurred. Krickitt was in a coma for four months, and when she awoke she had lost all memory of the past two years, including her entire relationship with Kim. 
“When I came round from the coma, I had no memory of this whirlwind romance,” said Krickitt in a recent article.   “My parents told me that I was married to this man, and they wouldn’t lie to me, so I knew that I must have loved him deeply. But I had no feelings for him at all, and as hard as I tried, I could not conjure up those feelings.”
Kim’s efforts to help Krickitt recover were hampered by her hostility and sudden mood swings—common aftereffects of brain damage. In their book, Kim wrote:

Unpredictable described our whole relationship. What was her real personality now and how much of it was getting to the surface? How well was she communicating what she thought and felt inside? Were we seeing the new real Krickitt?
Maybe she knew how to behave, knew how to act with me, how to control her anger, how to be affectionate and forgiving, but couldn’t put her knowledge into practice somehow because of her injury. Or maybe she had no idea about any of that. I didn’t know what Krickitt was like spiritually and emotionally anymore, and didn’t know whether her true self—whatever that was—was represented in her actions, or whether there was a disconnect between what she thought and what she did.

Despite their struggles, the Carpenters remained committed to their vows, and never seriously considered divorce. The film never mentions their Christian faith, which was central to their determination to make the marriage work. But the Carpenters have had many opportunities to make this clear in interviews connected with the movie’s release.
On the Today show, for example, Krickett said, “I chose to love him. I chose to love Kim based on obedience to God, not on feelings, because all my feelings were wiped out. … You have to stay committed. You have trials in your life, and you have to keep persevering.”
In another interview, Krickett said, “Slowly, over time, my love did grow for Kim deeply, but it was never a fluffy, gooey, falling-in-love feeling again. I know that is what everyone wants to hear, but that is not what happened the second time around. My heart didn’t skip beats; I didn’t feel swept off my feet. I would love to have felt that, but it isn’t the truth—I made a choice to love him.”
Naturally, that’s not what Hollywood wants to show in a romantic movie. But that’s the story I wish The Vow had told.

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For Better of Worse...

Heidi & Seal were the sweetest couple, renewing their vows often.

We've all read the recent (and quite shocking for many) news about the split between esteemed couple, Heidi Klum and Seal.  Another celebrity couple bites the dust, right? Wrong. It's not just celebrity marriages that are crumbling, it's a lot of marriages in today's society.
It's become pretty much the norm to get a divorce these days.  Not only is it getting easier but couples just shrug it off as if it's just a failed relationship and they could always just move on and find their happy ending elsewhere. Do you remember another recent marriage ending after only 72 days? I've got cheese in my fridge that hasn't expired yet after 72 days. :/
I married young.  I was only the ripe and thriving age of 23.  My husband and I were together since we were 19 years old.  What do two young kids crazy in "love" know about real love, right?  I don't think anyone of any age has the right to judge that anymore.  The ugly D-word will strike whomever it wants, whatever your age.

Call me old-fashioned but I still believe in the sanctity of marriage.  I always believe that no matter the issues you are facing in your marriage, you can make it work... if you truly did love one another.
I think those that just call it quits so quickly are weak. Yes, I said it. Weak.
I understand there are different circumstances for marriages really not working out for just reasons like marrying way too young just for the heck of it and growing up to realize you truly did marry the wrong person, your spouse has abused you mentally, emotionally or physically, you were in an arranged marriage and things of that nature.
I get that. And that's okay.  But, for those real marriages -- the ones where you both agreed that you loved one another tremendously and wanted to make it official... why not fight? Fight for your marriage? Fight (if you do have any) for your children, your family.

Listen, I'm no saint. My husband and I fight like cats and dogs sometimes.  It's healthy to disagree on things.  In fact, I think it's kinda sexy. ;)
But at the end of the day, no matter how angry that person makes you... remember all those good memories and why you married this person to begin with.  It's because you love them. You can't picture your life without them and that you choose to fight!

Ryan, Reese and Baby Ava.

I think celebrity marriages have made it look as if divorce and re-marrying is completely normal.  It's not.
It means you gave up.  You quit.

Whatever happened to for better or for worse?
Does that even exist anymore?

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The 10 Marriage Rules You Can Break

Looking at this list, I just let out a loud *phew*. I'm not a perfect wife, and we don't have the perfect marriage but we love each other and that's what counts.
Do these sound familiar to you?
The two of you should do everything together; work out every disagreement (without actually fighting); spend every night in the same bed; and never, ever be bored. Say what?! These and other so-called “rules” for marriage need some serious debunking. And it’s not just because rules your mother may have passed on are outdated; some may be downright damaging. In fact, “breaking some marriage ‘rules’ may be the best thing you can do for your relationship,” says Barbara Bartlein, RN, MSW, psychotherapist and author of Why Did I Marry You Anyway? Here are 10 rules you can break with confidence.

1. Never go to bed angry. 
Where did this one come from? Turns out, it may go as far back as the Bible, which advises not letting the sun go down on your anger. But trying to work through a problem when you’re tired and stressed won’t get you anywhere, says Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD, psychologist and author of A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness. “Agree to disagree for now, and to revisit the issue when you’re rested.”

2. Always be 100% honest. 
In marriage, no-holds-barred honesty is not always the best policy. For example, “you don’t need to share details of past relationships,” says Bartlein. “That invites comparisons, and when you compare, someone comes up short.” The bottom line: You need to be polite and caring when it comes to your partner’s feelings.

3. Never vacation without each other. 
The received wisdom here is that if you have time off from your jobs and lives, you should naturally prefer to spend it together. One problem with this rule is that you and your spouse may not have the same definition of a great getaway (you like to ski, he’s a beach bum). The other danger, says Dr. Lombardo, is the belief “that you have to be each other’s everything, and that’s just not realistic.” Sometimes, you need a spa weekend, and he may want to go camping (or vice versa). Just be sure that you don’t always take off without each other.

4. If you fight, you’re headed for divorce. 
Actually, says Bartlein, research shows that couples who never fight—assuming that means they’re holding back to avoid conflict—are more likely to split. You need to find ways to fight healthily and productively (without blaming, name-calling and the like), but that said, being committed to respectfully airing out conflicts is a far better rule than “keep your mouth shut.”

5. Once you have children, they come first. 
“So often, I see couples who have put their relationship on hold in order to be good parents,” says Dr. Lombardo. But those couples, she says, have it exactly backward. Making your relationship top priority is better not just for you, but for your children, who need to see you in charge and who feel safer and more secure with parents who have a loving relationship. “Create couple-only time during which you do not discuss bills or children, where you do fun activities and enjoy each other's company.” The kids’ll be all right.

6. You should never sleep in separate beds. 
Um, snore much? It’s a myth that couples always sleep better and more cozily together than apart. One partner may be a toss-and-turner, or one may hit the hay early while the other keeps a reading light burning till the wee hours. So if one of you occasionally decamps to the guest room, don’t sweat it. “Getting a good night’s sleep is crucial to the health of your mind, body andmarriage,” says Dr. Lombardo. Just be sure a separate-bed habit isn’t about avoiding sex or physical intimacy.

7. Partners should sync up their hobbies. 
Though spending every free moment you have training for a marathon while your spouse works on his classic car isn’t good for your marriage, neither is subscribing to the notion you should quit doing what you love just because your husband doesn’t love the same things. Giving up your passions is akin to forgoing your independence, and “without independence in a marriage people feel trapped,” says Bartlein. Pursue your separate interests and find activities you both enjoy.

8. If there’s no spark, you’re doomed. 
Many married couples understand intellectually that they won’t always experience that I’ve-been-drugged-by-love feeling in a long-term relationship. “But many still believe that when the spark dies out, it means they’re in the wrong relationship, and seek something new,” says Bartlein. Long-term relationships survive on commitment and trust, out of which grows love. The mistake here is to believe that you can live forever on fireworks, or even just love, alone.

9. Boring is bad. 
The problem with this so-called rule, says Bartlein, is when couples confuse a calm, predictable union with a bad one. A drama-filled relationship may feel exciting, but in the long run it’s not likely to be healthy. Isn’t it better, she says, to “boringly” know where your spouse is every night than to be “excited” by constant ups and downs? “Better to have a safe, relaxed, ‘boring’ life together in the everyday. You can always inject excitement with vacations and activities.”

10. You should have sex with your partner to make him/her happy. 
This may be a particular problem for women, especially new mothers. “Sex becomes yet another item on your to-do list, and you think you have to do it for the sake of your marriage, and the happiness of your spouse,” says Dr. Lombardo. While neither of those reasons is wrong, they shouldn’t be the only reasons. “Sex is for both of you.”

All photos by Shutterstock.

Credits: womansday.com

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The importance of Date Night

Prior to Ava being born, Ty and I were avid "daters". We would make it a habit to go on a date at least once or twice a week to get our minds off work and everyday stress. Stress at that time was nothing compared to now but still stressful nonetheless.
I worked like crazy, traveling often for client meetings and Ty was always in the office.
When I got pregnant, we also promised ourselves that we wouldn't shun our regular date nights even with a child.
Well, once Ava was born, our intentions flew right out the window.
As time went on, life just got a little extra hectic.
I spent a lot of my time with Ava and I loved it that way. Ty got promoted (twice in 2 years!) and that drastically increased his need to be in the office. We did miss each other and our promise of frequent date nights were virtually non-existent. If we did go on a date, it would be once every 2 months or more. And that usually happened unplanned.
Before I talk more about this, I want to take the time to thank my mother who has always been the gracious and caring baby-sitter for Ava. She loves her to bits and never hesitates to take her off our hands for a day or even a weekend. She's taken days off work just to care for Ava when I was off at a conference or was swamped with work (with my old business). She even took off a week and half when Ty and I were in Paris.
She's amazing. And I'm so grateful for her.

Okay, so that's one of the most important things of scheduling in much needed date nights - proper babysitting in place! It's important that you trust and know very well who that babysitter will be for your child to give you the peace of mind so that you're not obsessing over this during the entire date.

Date night is so important for a marriage. You need regular time alone with your husband to be a couple. You can’t be good parents if you aren’t a couple first. So here are a few tips my husband and I have learned:

• Plan your date night at least 1 week in advance
• Try to have a date at least once a month 
• If you can’t be gone all night then just go to dinner for 1-2 hours. That way if you need to get back to nurse you will have time to do that. Also, babysitters aren’t as expensive if they only work for 2 hours.
• If going out is too expensive then stay home. Ask a neighbor or a friend to watch your child at their home for a couple of hours. You can have a candlelit dinner and some um… dessert.  
• No neighbor or friend? Put your children to bed, grab a monitor and eat outside or maybe in your bedroom. Have a picnic on the floor. Just go some place private so you can reconnect.
• There are a lot of people that have offered to keep Ava for us. If there are people that have offered to keep your baby and the only reason you don’t contact them is because you don’t want to impose… get over it and call! You will be a great blessing to them! And you can get a night out with your husband.
• Can’t afford dinner and a babysitter? Eat dinner at home and have the sitter come over while the two of you go to the park for a walk. Or eat dessert at a really nice restaurant. 

What about ideas for when you just can't get out?

Romantic at Home Date Night Ideas

1. Love in the Hot Tub – If you have hot tub give it a whirl, nothing more romantic, than hot water, wine and cuddling under the stars.
2. Romantic Bath for Two – If you don’t have a hot tub, some bubbles candles and music will do just fine.
3. Massage Night – Take turns giving each other a massage, clothing optional.
4. Breakfast in Bed – One of my favourite things in the world, there is no great surprise than the man you love with coffee and breakfast first thing Saturday morning; a flower cut from the garden is a great touch.
5. Read To Each Other – A great way to connect, take turns reading each chapter.
6. Movie Marathon for 2 – Whether it’s Die Hard, Rocky or Father of the Bride spend a day in your PJs with the phones off taking in your favourite movie saga all in a row.
7. Sushi Night – Not sure exactly why, but there’s something so romantic about Sushi, I love when we grab takeout and enjoy it in the comfort of our own home.
8. Puzzle Night – It great to collaborate on something like a puzzle together.
9. Create An Indoor Picnic – Whether it’s champagne and strawberries or a PB&J always a fun idea.
10. Write Your Love Story – It’s so warm to look back on how you came together
11. Splurge on Delicious Cheeses and Add Fruit, Crackers, and Wine – This is the makings of a perfect evening,
12. Play Video Games Together – It’s good to enjoy something light and fun together.
13. Watch a Sports Game and Eat Stadium Food Like Nachos and Hot Dogs – Make it an event, enjoy together.
14. Go to bed early together - Need I say more?

Here is the thing… date nights are not going to fall into your lap. You have to make them a priority. You have to budget for them, plan for them and prepare yourself for them. It is work. But it is also more than worth it. Don’t stop dating each other just because you now have a child. Having a baby is all the more reason to focus on your marriage. Your child needs to see parents that love each other, are crazy about each other and love spending time together. Make date night a priority in your marriage! You won’t be disappointed.


Credits: confessionsofalovingwife.com

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Marriage: Why do we keep arguing?

Something that's far too familiar in most (if not ALL) relationships - whether big or small. It's inevitable and the only way that you can learn to grow as a couple is have these little trials & tribulations and learn to conquer them together.  When God is the centre of your marriage (and family), you can rest assured that there will always be a solution to your problems.  One great site that I subscribe to and receive timely and enlightening articles from is Family Life. Below is the article that caught my attention today especially because my hubby and I had a pretty intense argument today when he got home from work. I really abhor our fights, but what I detest more is when we go to sleep angry.  That's one thing that we're really trying to work on. We're both very strong-headed individuals with fervent opinions not to mention melodramatic, so you can imagine how many times we argue.
It's healthy. It's normal. It's part of any relationship. Especially when you love that person dearly.


One thing I love that was in the article that I read was this: "The presence of conflict in your marriage is not a condemnation. It simply means that you have dreams—that you are human beings and that there are things you long for, things you truly believe in."


We need to make a distinction between a "good argument" and a "bad argument"—since not all conflict is healthy. The good news is that there are signs that can help you and your spouse/partner figure out if conflict is benefiting your relationship or hurting it. 


Let's look at what distinguishes a healthy conflict from an unhealthy one. 


Characteristics of a healthy argument
A healthy conflict:


1. Clears the air and brings important issues out into the open;
2. Informs you about what is important to your spouse/partner;
3. Informs you about what isn't working for your spouse/partner;
4. Gives direction to any changes that maybe needed;
5. Doesn't deteriorate into name-calling and hostilities, even when emotions run high.


Characteristics of an unhealthy argument
An unhealthy conflict:


1. Shuts down communication;
2. Doesn't lead to any insight into each other's needs/viewpoints;
3. Consists of hostile verbal attacks (a total lack of respect for each other in the moment);
4. Causes emotional wounding and defensiveness (and little else);
5. Keeps the status quo of the relationship and prevents growth.


The reality is that couples will have both healthy and unhealthy arguments during their relationship. To help you determine if an argument is healthy (useful to the growth of the relationship), you and your spouse/partner can engage in a post-conflict analysis. You'll need to let time pass to allow the ambers of heated emotions cool before this analysis occurs.


Any post-conflict analysis should start with a recognition that you love and care about each other. Never minimize your positive feelings toward each other. Then ask yourself the following:


~What was accomplished by this most recent conflict?
~What did I learn about myself?
~What did I learn about my spouse/partner?
~How can I use this information to strengthen our relationship?


The answers to these questions can help you shape and strengthen your marriage or relationship.
Sometimes our biggest conflicts come when both spouses are right.

Read the article here

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