Flipping through channels this past Wednesday, I came across Andersoon Cooper's show and after reading the synopsis, without thinking twice, clicked onto it to tune in.
It was one of those discussions that I knew I just couldn't miss because it's a topic that hits home for me -- SAHM's vs. WOHM's = Who's happier?
Anderson is joined by a panel of moms who discuss the controversial new study that says moms with jobs outside the home are healthier and happier, and debate the issue of who is actually happier.
I'm not going to lie and say that I wasn't sitting there ready to throw something at the TV and bellowing out petulant words in frustration. I was in disbelief at how ignorant and belittling these WOHM (Work Out of Home Moms) were! Especially one in particular.
I wholeheartedly understand that it's a choice. We all have choices when it comes to our careers and raising our families.
Some women can go onto their careers and be totally miserable because they want to be home with their kids, and some can be home with their kids but really feel like they are missing something, that they need to be contributing financially and much prefer to be back in the office.
I don't think it's fair to judge any mother on the decision that she has made for her and for her family.
It's just plain wrong.
When they referred to SAHMs as being lazy, overweight and never have time for themselves (let themselves go) -- that was such a slap in the face! Those SAHMs had a lot of panache being able to sit there beside these women and respond in a dignified and calm manner, without responding with an equally ignorant remark or judgement. I would've gone "Jerry Springer" up in there! :p
Let me just say before I go on, I am far from being lazy, not overweight and I make it a must to give myself a lot of "me" time.
Life is about adjustments.
And how you respond to those adjustments.
I could have easily hired an amazing live-out nanny to care for my daughter and my home or alternatively put her into a reputable and trusting daycare but I didn't want to do that. I couldn't imagine anyone else raising her and me missing out on very important milestones, especially because she was my first child and the struggles we went through to conceive her. But, you see, that's just me. Other moms think very differently than I do.
The Andersoon Cooper panel was very eye-opening to say the least. It gave all of us an opportunity to see what different mothers thought and why they thought that way.
I have friends that are single mothers and working is their only choice. Also friends that have a very satisfying and high-demand career that made the choice to go back to work because they felt fulfilled and happy that way. Did I ever judge them or think they are selfish? That in fact, going back to work is the easy way? More money, adult interaction, career-success... no way! I would never. To each his own, I always say.
In fact, there were times I had teeny pangs of jealousy. I missed contributing financially, being able to interact with other adults, the morning drive-in to work, fun lunch hours with the colleagues and being able to wear some super cute business attire. Heck! Anything that didn't have either vomit, crayon marks or stickers on them for that matter.
But, I look at my thriving little girl and those moments of reverie just slip away. I'm content with where I am.
Has it been tough, heck yah! This new little boss that I report to is tougher then any boss I've ever had --this is a very demanding job! And we don't get sick days!
Plain & simple, we live in career-centric world. Where women feel empowered to strive and be the best they can be. Nothing wrong with that -- I'm all for it! After all, I too am a very business-savvy woman just take a look at my track record (yes, I've mastered the horn-tootin').
But when women start to judge other women, especially the amazing mothers that made that very important (and very tough!) choice to put their careers on hold, understanding that they will be a one-income family and that times may get tough for them to focus on raising their children, there's something very wrong with that.
I respect all mothers that do everything in their power to make life the best for their kids -- whether you are staying home, working outside the home or working in the home, there shouldn't be any sort of scrutinizing involved. We need to support each other, be empowered by one another.
We are not just women, we are mothers.
What do you think about this? Do you think the WOHMs on the panel were too harsh? Do you really think moms that work outside the home are, in fact, happier?
