Screaming: The New Spanking?

Think of this scenario. You've had a very exhausting work week, your boss piled on the work and didn't even thank you for completing a major project. Your husband is working overtime hours again and the kids are being well, extra "yummy" today.  You have no time for dinner, so you pick up some healthy take-out (yes, that can exist) and when you get home to feed your grumbling tummy and those of your whiny children (let's just add a headache to the mix), you find that they are missing 2 major items you ordered. Ugh! 
Does this sound sort of familiar?
Are you just about ready to pull your hair out?


Plain and simple, when Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Am I right, or am I right? 


When you’re stressed out, tired, hungry, frustrated, your patience is at a minimum and when your child does something, anything that gets the best of you, what do you do? 
You yell right? Don't sit there and act like you don't because we all do! Well, according to a New York Times article, most parents do.


Don't beat yourself up.  It happens to the best of us. You can blame yelling on all sorts of factors today like multitasking, lack of time, squeezing in quality time, well, a whole host of things that are daily occurrances for most families.
It's so hard to keep your cool when you're under so much stress.


I know that personally I stay far away from spanking my child.  Yes I admit, there were times I have slightly spanked her hand to teach her no touching!  Especially when it's something that can really hurt her.  But not hard enough to really harm her.  This is far from the culture I was raised in where spanking was actually recommended and the proper way to discipline your child. It's frowned upon this day and age and I can understand why.  There are plenty of other ways that you can discipline your child.


But has screaming become the new spanking?  


Instead of the spanking, parents yell now. And they yell a lot. It’s more socially acceptable than spanking your kid, at least in public. And even though Dr. Spock says that shouting was “inevitable from time to time,” it leads to parental guilt. Who needs more of that?


Imagine being yelled at by your boss or another person close to you.  Sucks, huh? I know I'd be disturbed.


I'm dealing with a mini Queen of Yelling right now. She just turned three this past October and her voice just got a lot louder!  She scares me sometimes!  Have we battled it out before? Umm... *hangs my head in shame* yeah, we have. Ha-ha! I know, I know, she's three! And I'm the parent! 
I can't even imagine when she's a teenager. *Shudders at the thought*


These professionals also warn that it can be damaging to a child’s sense of well being and self-esteem. I’ll attest to that. It does take its toll in a big way. I mean, I still flinch at the thought of making my yelling parent angry. And I’m 28.


Psychologists and psychiatrists generally say yelling should be avoided. It’s at best ineffective (the more you do it the more the child tunes it out) and at worse damaging to a child’s sense of well-being and self-esteem.

As much as I sort of agree with this, I still think as long as the tone is right and your child knows you mean business in a non-threatening manner, it should help.  I'm learning everyday how to control my tone with her.

Still, there are those moments.  You know those moments. 

So do I think yelling is OK? Yes! I think it's fine. As long as it's done correctly and in a way that you're questioning them to re-think their actions and not to frighten them.

And remember that the younger they are, try to learn and tone it down a bit.  They are still learning and screaming may be more damaging than helpful.

What do you think? Do you think Screaming is the new Spanking? Do you think it's wrong to yell at your child?  What methods have worked for you when disciplining your kids?