It Is Well With My Soul

It's always so refreshing to come back to your day-to-day grind after a restful long weekend.

Yesterday was Family Day and we spent the cold, snowy Family Day Weekend celebrating indoors for the most part, curled under warm blankets with lots of cuddles, sipping on hot chocolate and watching lots of great movies.
One of our recent favourites is Hotel Transylvania -- Adam Sandler was great in it!

Amongst the giggles, tickles and a very rare quiet moment this weekend, I had this overwhelming feeling of gratitude, happiness... peace.
In this chaotic (yet very blissful) life that I'm leading, peace is usually not part of the vocabulary.

It was a rough year last year and there are days when I feel like throwing in the towel, curling up in a ball and just hiding from the world.
I've made tough decisions for the benefit of myself and those I love, suffered through extremely stressful times, felt alone after fighting a horrible case of post-partum blues after my son was born...
life certainly threw me and my family a few curve balls.

So having that tranquil moment of realization that I am, in fact, blessed beyond measure, was very much needed.
It was a really good feeling.

Photo courtesy of Lisa Jo Baker.

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That Use to Be Me.

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." - John Lennon

Strolling down aisle 3 of the grocery store slowly skimming my eyes through each product on the shelves, happy that I can actually read through each can or box without worrying about rushing out of there with a hangry (that's hungry + angry) 4 year old in tow.
Yes, this is what my life, let me re-phrase that, what my current situation has succumbed to.  When grocery shopping by myself is a vacation in it's own.

In the corner of my eye I catch a glimpse of a sharply dressed attractive woman, beautiful hair and make-up perfectly done, a big smile followed by laughter while she chats on her smartphone looking through k-cups. I couldn't help but overhear her conversation.
"So I'm just going to head home after this and quickly change for the __________ event tonight.  Can't wait to see you! (more laughter).  No way! I haven't seen her in ages! Everybody's going to be there!" 

Great. Story of my (current) life.

As a blogger, it's so wonderful to be connected and working with such amazing Brands and Public Relation Firms in their marketing initiatives.
Just over the past year alone, my network has increased dramatically and I have been receiving an immense amount of invitations to seriously awesome events that unfortunately I had to be MIA on all.  This isn't to my advantage as I miss out on not only building my network and meeting new people at these events, but also meeting friends and fellow bloggers that I've gotten to know online, over the phone, etc. Would be nice to put a face to a name!

I'm not going to blame my children for this. I saw a post on Facebook a few days ago with this phrase: "You are raising a human being, not an inconvenience."
Such a great reminder! I love my kids, but there are those times when all those fun exclusive events, conferences, dinners, etc. happen and MIA Carol is once again... MIA.
I follow along on all the tweets and see all the pictures and think... "That should be me."
"I'm suppose to be there."
"How fun is that? I can't believe I'm missing out."

To put salt on wounds, one of my close friends that also happens to be a very respectable and popular PR gal and Blogger, had to say to me (over email) after I apologized for not being able to attend an event:  "Carol, just get out. Have Ty (hubby) baby-sit or make alternative arrangements. I'm sure a few hours one evening won't hurt anyone. You never go! You should go! You're only 29 for crying out loud!"

Did I mention that she's also a mother? So I honestly thought she would understand. Or at least try to emphathize.

The sharply-dressed lady in the grocery store walks by me and flashes at smile at me.
Geez, she has perfect teeth too AND she's nice.
Or was that a sympathetic I see you're in your Lululemons with a grocery cart of diapers, wipes and ice cream smile.
As she walks away still gabbing on her phone, I let out a big sigh.

That use to be ME.


I continue to enjoy my hour of solitude in the grocery store getting excited over the different types of Campbell's Soups and then check-out and head on back to the my little Zoo.
As soon as I walk in the house is surprisingly quiet.
There is my husband sitting on the floor of the living room colouring with my daughter while my baby boy snoozes on the couch next to them.
I'm greeted with big smiles and a big hug and that's when I realize that, you know what, home is truly where the heart is.
There will be more times ahead when the kids get older for me to enjoy life in other ways, but these kids, they grow so fast... I don't want to miss anything. This is my situation at the moment and it'll change... eventually.
I need to stop wishing life was different.
I will enjoy them as they are, as I am, as we are, in the now.

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