We've got some news...

For many of you that have been following my blog for a while and for those that know me, you know that the past year has been somewhat of a crazy journey for me and my family.  We've had our shares of ups and downs as we struggled with infertility (due to my PCOS), coming in and out of expensive treatments praying and hoping endlessly to give our little girl a sibling.

When I conceived Ava, I also went through a similar, although less of a longer time, conceiving her.

She changed our world.  She was a miracle baby to us.

I've always wanted to be a mother. To be able to create, carry, birth and raise wonderfully smart, beautiful and humble children. 

I'm very blessed with our daughter and couldn't be more proud and gratified to have her in our lives. 

But, she's been asking and asking and asking for a sister or brother.  She's getting older (we just enrolled her in Kindergarten!) and we thought it would be a perfect time for another little blessing.

After many, many BFN's (Big Fat Negative's), to my pleasant surprise, I finally saw this...

I'm Pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tears of joy, exhaustion and surprise streamed down my face as I shared the excitement with my husband.

We were SO happy! And so relieved.

To be honest, this pregnancy is very different than with Ava.

I was sick constantly with Ava and with this pregnancy I'm only having bouts of nausea here and there.  As weird as this may sound, I actually was hoping for the vomit and the food diversions.  I wanted to feel pregnant.

You see, I had a prior miscarriage before Ava and with Ava, I had low progesterone in the first trimester so I had to take Progesterone suppositories to help sustain the pregnancy.  I'm doing the same with this pregnancy now as well.

I was also monitored every week to two weeks with Ava at Mount Sinai's Special Pregnancy Unit due to risk of Incompetent/Shortening Cervix.

My pregnancies are not easy.  In fact, as wonderful as they are, they are very, very scary for me.

I'm constantly worried.

So, a couple of days ago, after experiencing spotting and minor cramps, I was put on strict bed rest.

Yeah, that's not very easy considering I have a 3 year old that I need to care for during the day.

Just a 2 days before the bleeding began, I had a first trimester ultrasound and we saw our little baby and it's heartbeat! 125bpm at 7 weeks 2 days.  What a sigh of relief.

So you can imagine how terrified I was when I began to spot. No pregnant woman, no matter how many times you've done this before, wants to see blood, especially in the first trimester, especially with a higher risk pregnancy.  I spent the entire day in tears because I was so concerned.

So here I am. 8 weeks as of tomorrow and resting up on my comfy bed. 

I am so grateful to my husband for his unconditional support, my mom, mother-in-law, sister, and rest of family and friends that have attempted to make this easy for me and provide their helping hands.

I am so, so thankful.

I will be continuing my progesterone and limited activity until after the 13th week (1st trimester). And then at least I can breathe a little better.

You're probably wondering why I am sharing this before the first trimester is over. Well, I was actually planning on NOT saying anything until we were in the safe zone, but because I've shared my rough infertility journey on my blog with my devoted followers, many woman going through very similar situations, I thought it's only fair and considerate to share this journey - no matter where it turns.

We continue to pray and trust that God is in control and will help us get through this, healthy and happy.

If he sees you to it, he'll bring you through it.
Where would I be without my faith? 

Here's to a happy and healthy 9 1/2 months!

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Onto the next one...

So a quick update on my roller coaster ride to baby #2.
After 4 rounds of clomid, the specialist had decided to switch me to a different medication which is suppose to do the same thing as Clomid, but with the advantage of not thinning out your endometrial lining like Clomid does.
The new med is called Letrazole or Femara. It's pretty new in the Fertility game. It's been around 10 years and was initially created for women with breast cancer to lower their hormonal levels (estrogen).
It's been proven to also be a benefit and aid in infertility as well. Specifically with women that have PCOS, like me.
I've read so many times that women with PCOS undergoing fertility treatments that took clomid and never worked for them, ended up taking Letrazole with success.
This is the case for me as well.
With my first round of Letrazole (at the lowest dose of 2.5mg), I ovulated. Unfortunately, this wasn't the cycle because Aunt Flo came along.
I just finished my 2nd round (2.5mg) a week and a half ago and they didn't see any production, so as of yesterday I began 3rd round at a dose higher (5mg). On top of that, my specialist has increased my metformin intake to the highest (2000mg), 4 tablets a day. Prior to that I was at 1500, 3 tablets a day.
So far I am not having any bad side effects to the increase in metformin so that's good. Met is known to give terrible nausea and stomach upset.

I'm crossing my fingers and praying hard that we won't have to go through this anymore soon.
It's been so tough -- emotionally, physically and financially.
I'm so happy to have such a supportive husband and family members that have contributed their time in helping me when I needed it.
One of the most important things any woman going through a fertility struggle will need in her life is a strong support system. They make such a tough process more bearable and offer the hope you need to get through.

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September is PCOS Awareness Month

So as you may already know (having read my previous posts or following me on twitter/facebook) that I suffer with a condition called PCOS - Polycystic Ovarian Sydrome. I was diagnosed in 2007 after a year of struggles trying to conceive our firstborn daughter. I didn't fit the usual characteristics of someone with PCOS, except for the irregular periods and infertility, so my doctor took a while to diagnose me. She sent me to a fertility specialist and that's where I was properly diagnosed. I am writing this post in hopes that someone out there that is reading this with unexplained infertility and irregular periods (amongst the other noted symptoms) will better understand what this condition is and get tested.
It's been such an emotional and exhausting roller coaster (that I'm still on), but I always have faith that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And that light will come with 2am and 4am feedings. :)

What is PCOS?

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) is a health disorder that often affects a woman’s ability to ovulate and conceive.  Somewhere around one in ten women of reproductive age have been diagnosed as having PCOS. Some young women will receive this diagnosis during their teenaged years but many women will not realize that they in fact have this disorder until they try to get pregnant, and can’t.  While the cause of PCOS has not as yet been identified, several factors do seem to play a role, including family history, ethnic origin and genetics.

PCOS is technically a hormonal imbalance, earmarked by any two of the following three characteristics: overproduction of androgens (male hormones); irregular menstrual cycles; and an ultrasound demonstrating polycystic appearing ovaries.  While all women have some level of male hormone in their systems, many women with PCOS produce an overabundance of them.  

Some women with this disorder experience a degree of insulin resistance as well.  Insulin is a hormone which is manufactured in the pancreas.  Insulin’s job is to transport glucose (sugar) out of the blood and into muscle tissue, fat and liver cells. People who are insulin resistant need more insulin than usual to regulate the amount of glucose in in their blood and since insulin is also a growth hormone, insulin resistance causes many women who suffer from this disorder to gain weight as well.  In addition, when too much insulin is present in the body the ovaries respond to this by pumping out even larger quantities of male hormones.
PCOS can develop or become more symptomatic after you have already had children. (This is known as secondary infertility.) With my daughter, I conceived with only metformin (the easy way!), but it wasn't until now since the beginning of this year have I realized I indeed needed more help in trying to conceive for my 2nd child. The metformin alone was not cutting it. Many failed Clomid cycles also didn't do the trick.


Also, while many women with PCOS deal with infertility, many of them can and do achieve pregnancy with treatment. Not everyone will have pregnancy success. But a good number will. There's reason for hope.


Learn more about PCOS, and common PCOS treatments, here:

PCOS: Symptoms, Diagnosis, and Treatment

Quiz: Do You Have PCOS Symptoms?

Can a PCOS Diet Help?

Metformin Treatment for PCOS

Do Irregular Periods Always Mean PCOS?

Quiz: Is Your Period Normal?

Anovulation

Clomid

When Clomid Doesn't Work

Gonadotropin Treatment

There is this amazing show called PCOS Challenge created by Sasha Ottey, designed to inform people about Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and other related diseases and conditions.  PCOS Challenge follows ten women with PCOS as they have their lives transformed by naturopathic and allopathic medical experts and three coaches — registered dietitian Rebecca Mohning, fitness trainer Josef Brandenburg, and clinical psychologist Ruth Wittersgreen. The show addresses common PCOS symptoms and related conditions including infertility, diabetes, obesity, heart disease, anxiety and depression, and hirsutism.
You should definitely check it out!

Credits: http://infertility.about.com, 
Photo Credits: PCOS Hope awareness image is courtesy of www.gifts4Awareness.com and merchandise can be purchased through this site.

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Here we go again...

So today was yet another day 3 ultrasound. Aunt Flo showed up (fast & furious!) and today I had the regular Day 3 cycle monitoring appointment. Having gone to these appointments continuously since March of this year, I'm pretty much use to everything -- ultrasound, poked in the arm for blood and a meeting with the specialist.
This appointment Dr.Cheng advised me that there is some growth and I have 2 growing (larger sized) follicles which is a good thing. Yay! So I'm happy about that. Now, in terms of meds, I was advised to start clomid again (and for the last time) at the highest possible dose (200mg). I am hoping and praying that this is it. We cannot afford to move onto injectables which cost thousands out of our pocket (health coverage isn't so great when it comes to fertility treatments which is unfortunate).
We'll see what God has planned for us. I'll just leave it in his hands.
Tonight I start the clomid for 5 days and then go back in for Cycle day 10 monitoring and see if there are any mature follicles that can be triggered with an hcg shot (another $85).
Here's hoping!

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On to the next...

I've been through an emotional fertility roller coaster trying to conceive my 2nd child the past few months and it didn't get any easier.
After taking 3 rounds of clomid at the highest dose (150mg), the specialist found it wasn't working for me as I wasn't producing large enough folli's each time (only once but that was a bust), so he suggested I come in August 10th for a review and to discuss the next step, which are injectables.
Not only was this hard for me to swallow because of the fact the clomid definitely affected my system but mostly because I'm disappointed that my body is against me and that I actually believed that clomid would do the trick. I'm not functioning normally and my hormones are out of whack. Such a tough thing for a woman to take.
On top of all these emotional battles, our family bank account it being heavily affected. Sure we have insurance and good coverage, but not good enough! Injectables cost anywhere between $1000 - $5000  depending on the dosage. And I think insurance doesn't cover enough of it. Also, the specialist fee's and injectable management fee aren't cheap either.
This is becoming too much for me and my hubby to handle. I thought it would be easier than this because I never had to deal with all this with Ava. :( We are a one person income household as it's only my hubby working at the moment so this is a real financial burden. We also just bought our new house and renovated so our pocketbook got hit pretty nicely the past few weeks. I don't know how much longer I can take of all this.

I will show up to that review on Aug 10th and pray that the cost's aren't as hefty as we're thinking they're going to be. And most importantly, that we will be blessed with a healthy pregnancy sooner than later.
I just have to keep my hopes up despite how hard it is and keep my faith in the Lord. It's not in my hands after all.

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Hopefully this is THE month...

So as you may know, DH and I are currently TTC for baby#2. Because of my PCOS, it has been very difficult to get pregnant as I do not ovulate every month.

Since February of this year I have been seeing a specialist at the Isis Regional Fertility Clinic in Mississauga, ON. Was started initially on metformin (3x a day) and then after a couple of months of no success, clomiphene (Clomid), which is an ovulation-inducing drug, was added to the mix. First at 50mg (no changes in my ovaries), then 100mg (still no changes) and final at 150mg (changes finally!). After my last routine cycle monitoring appt (I have been at the clinic between every 2-7 days for bloodwork, ultrasound & quick doctor meeting to monitor cycle & treatment), I was told that I had a mature follicle at 1.8cm on my left ovary. This was great news!

After today's appointment, the doc told me that the LH surge could happen anytime now and ovulation will occur. So right now it's the waiting game. If need be, they may inject me with the HCG shot which aids in having the egg release (ovulation).

We are hoping and praying that this egg turns into a fetus! :) It's been a long journey so far and I really don't want to go through IUI or IVF. :(

Back in for another early morn appt. at the clinic, this time with my mom (who graciously has been helping me with these appt.'s when DH couldn't take that day off work).

Will keep you posted.

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