She's Got the Blues

I use to think that a glass of vin rouge coupled with a bubble bath, a side of petit fours and macarons and Edith Piaf or Billie Holiday serenading in the background was an unbeatable pleasure. I was wrong.

Sleep is what dreams are made of (yes, pun intended).

Nothing compares to a good night's sleep. 

On top of that, both my little ones are comfortable and relaxed this morning, giving me some much needed down-time aka blogging time!

I've got my cup of joe here, brewed to perfection, and just enjoying this quiet time.

After days of a wacky sleep schedule (literally 3-5 hours (if that) of sporadic "sleep" per day), a lack of appetite and recovering from a c-section, the littlest and most simplest of pleasures are so fully embraced.

I totally forgot about this part of parenting a newborn!  It's been 3 and a half years after all, so it really does feel like I'm doing this whole parenting thing for the first time.

One thing that struck me this time around after my son was born that I don't recall experiencing with my daughter was postpartum blues.  This is a silent pain that I don't wish upon anyone!

It was not sudden. Once my son was born, I was immediately in love and on cloud nine.

3-4 days after once I arrived home from the hospital is when this mute misery began.

Nobody really talks about, so when it does happen you don't know how to respond to it -- it was horrible.

I'm usually a very optimistic glass always full kinda gal. 

I did not recognize myself during the postpartum blues.

Before I go on, I'd like to make clear that postpartum blues is not the same as post partum depression which is a more serious condition.

You see all these other mothers that just had their new baby sporting a contagious and permanent smile, posting pictures and updates filled with enthusiasm and pride, tackling all the new mommy duties right off the bat and with full force and energy, excitedly hosting instant play dates with friends...

I was crying for no reason many times during the day, I didn't want to see or speak with anyone, sad and depressed, had zero appetite, no interest in anything and something I can't believe feeling -- I didn't even want to hold or tend to my newborn son during this time.  It was awful!

Although I did still function and do what I had to do for my family and myself and I was still able to muster up a smile here and there.  So some of my family and friends would have never known how much I was actually suffering inside.

I do blame other factors for why I was crippled with postpartum blues this pregnancy.  There were many things going on at the same time my son was born causing me more stress.  

My daughter was starting JK that same week we brought him home only to have to be pulled out of something that she loved and enjoyed (will talk more about this in another post -- a very tough decision my husband and I had to face), my c-section recovery this time around wasn't as quick and pleasant and my husband had to return to work sooner than last time.

After the baby is born, many new mothers have the "postpartum blues" or the "baby blues." The word "blues" is not really correct since women with this condition are happy most of the time. But compared to how the mother usually feels, she:

• Is more irritable
• Cries more easily
• Feels sad
• Feels confused

The postpartum blues peak three to five days after delivery. They usually end by the tenth day after the baby's birth. Although the postpartum blues are not pleasant, the woman can function normally. The feeling of the "blues" usually lessens and goes away over time.

Medical experts believe that changes in the woman's hormones after delivery cause the postpartum blues.

Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommend that women do these things to help relieve the "postpartum blues":

• Talk to your partner or a good friend about how you feel
• Get plenty of rest
• Ask your partner, friends and family for help
• Take time for yourself
• Get out of the house every day, even if it's just for a short while
• Join a new mother's group and share your feelings with the women you meet there

If the symptoms last for longer than two weeks or worsen or you have suicidal thoughts, you may have postpartum depression. This is a serious medical condition. 

Although postpartum blues is said to be more common and less serious, PPD (Postpartum Depression) is not.

It affects 1 in 8 women and is something that they cannot control.  It doesn't mean she is a bad mother but it does a pose a risk for mother and child.

Click here for more information.

A famous celebrity that suffered from PPD and wrote a great book about it, Down Came the Rain, was Brooke Shields.  Here is a great interview with her from iVillage.com regarding her Pregnancy and Postpartum Depression.

I thought it very important to share this experience (although quite personal) with my readers, in the event someone is or will be suffering from this condition.  It's not pleasant and it can be quite confusing at first, but do know that it will go away and everything will be better.

Sometimes even those very close to you may not understand or offer the kind of support you truly need.  Please do not hesitate to reach out to your health care provider or someone else you feel will truly understand.

If you would like someone to talk to about this, feel free to email me at: carolynngomez@gmail.com.

Be well and focus on building you.  A healthy and happy mother is the strongest and best thing for a family.