Walking on Eggshells

It's been about 4 and a half weeks since I discovered the wonderful news that I was expecting.

As much as it's been a effervescent time for me, it's also been quite stressful.

From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I've been on progesterone suppositories.  Without these suppositories, I'd probably be an even bigger mess of worry.  They've brought me a whole lot of reassurance and calm despite their "ickyness".

For those that have used them, you know what I mean.

I've also been asked to do limited activity at this sensitive time and rest often.  I'm not as tired as I was in the first couple of weeks, so having to limit my activity and lie in bed most hours is, in all honesty... boring.

I know every pregnancy is different, but I can't help but compare this one with my 1st.  I have to say, this one is like walking on a cloud compared to before.

Food diversions and nausea is virtually non-existent (only have sporadic bouts of them here and there), no headaches or extreme tiredness, my lady humps are not sore anymore -- I'm actually feeling normal. In other words: I don't feel pregnant.

And that, my friends, is what is causing my burden and anxiety.  I also blame the Internet for instigating more of this uneasiness.

I know we all like to play doctor with access to the Internet, but word of advice: Avoid the Internet! Just ask your doctor if you have any concerns at all so they can give you better answers.

I'm such a hypocrite because I live off the Internet.  In many ways, it's helped me! It has answered a lot of things I needed quick answers to and gave me some consolation.  But at the same time it also brought along a lot of questions and over-analyzing every little thing that is going on in my body.

I'm taking my prenatal vitamins everyday (have been for months before conception), I eat pretty well (I eat a whole lot to be exact! :p), and I rest as often as I can.

I have a great support system in my husband and family (which is a HUGE help).

And according to all my records and appointments thus far (incl. a 7 week ultrasound that showed a heartbeat), everything is A-OK.

So why do I continue to walk on egg shells?

I don't think I will stop worrying.  Even once I hit my 12th week which marks the end of this scary 1st trimester.  

Pregnancy is a beautiful thing but it's also a very, VERY unnerving thing as well.

Perhaps it's the motherly predisposition in us that never goes away even when our children are adults? 

I don't know.

But what I do know is that I'm very excited that I'll be hitting my 10th week this Sunday which means 2 more weeks of my first trimester and... let us eat cake! I plan to celebrate, that's for sure. :)

For now, I will dig into this tapioca pudding that I have been eyeing the past 5 minutes and then snuggle up under my warm blanket with my little girl with some pretzels, chocolate almonds and milk and watch a fun movie. 

Remembering that I am still a mother right now and I have a little girl that needs me to be strong and happy for her. So that, I shall be.